this was a good piece..i had to read it twice to really understand but it wouldnt be poetry without a deep outlook..i dont have much advice caws i cant picture it being written any diff..keep up the good work..

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my head is clouded with senseless doubt
but this seems to be my only escape route
so ill slither my way across the ground
to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found
~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~