It started out very deep, but then got increasingly simple. that aspect of the poem left me dissapointed and wanting more to see if you could make it better. i would change a couple of things about thsi poem, mostly the length. number one, becouse it is a very good message but u didnt explain it well enough. number two becouse im sure u can revise it and make it better. With some poems i find that the longer u work on them, the better they turn out, but some the longer u work on them, the more u fuck up. so it could go either way. i liked the poem, it had an alright ammount of emotion, but like with length, it left me wanting more. basically i like the poem, in alot of ways i dont. definetely not sayin it wasnt good for wat it is though. good work..

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