It's a pretty busic, often written bout subject.
The catagories ppl use to define the overall appeal of a piece..
Metaphores, Vocabulairy etc..
If one would judge your piece solely on that..
Chances are big u'd get a D+ at best.
Im not tryin to put your down just read what i said above..
U'll understand.
But as you dig deeper into a piece u always stumble upon a message.
Yours was obvious..didnt require alot of diggin' but still attracted -- Me to read on..
A emotional piece is always hard..so sometimes the formulation of ur words may seem 'childish' but your effort shows.
Keep writin, increase your vocabulairy n try to put more effort,
Into ur imagery and 'role play'.
Good Luck.