Paddyman
First off, dont capatalize the end of your bars &..
Dont seperate them all individually..looks herbish..
Content wise your verse lacked alot..
Vocabulairy is a small thing you can add..without..
Alot of practice just a sensable mind..
As for punches, personals u hardly had any &..
That 8mile line was wack aswell as played..
Work on your structure to..
Overall Weak.

Lyrical Jezus
Alot, lot better verse.
You actually produced some punches & even a personal.
You had a better structure, n far less played concepts..
You pretty much had the upper hand in all catagories.
Work on your wordplay though..you seemed to miss it.
Overall Decent-Good.

vote: Lyrical Jezus..