flow was dope and i really felt the way you would use it with a beat.........multis used nicely and to gud effect.......vocab was tight.

1stverse: nice run up and buold up 2 the track, set the scene well and good endin to it......."kill'd the wrong person".......you set it up nice for that finish.......jay-z line was tight........nice verse

2nd Verse: good deep opener...felt that bar...............mayb dis line wasn't suppos'd to be funny but it was "One that ate his foot, n’ a guy who put himself in the oven"...lmao.............."I love death so much, I got a tombstone in my easter basket"..nice bar here man, really played with lovin death, easter is of fluffy white bunnys and u got a tombstone...nice shit.........."So many attempts n’ I aint dead.. what the hell is wrong with me?"..nice endin to da verse dawg....really had the meanin of the verse in one line...kind of like a summary...nice way of finishin the verse

3rd Verse: word to wot aisle 5 sed..they wouldn't put u in a cell wit family.."-But threw me in a cell with my dad"..line kinda lost any meanin........"Then they gave me a mask w/ a cage n’ a vest".....nice, kinda like da hannibal, wudn't b very nice tho..lol..........."No one at the funeral, threw me in the ground, all that hopin to die
No white light tho, just dirt n’ worms.. as I opened my eyes".....holy shit....wot a fukin endin to da track......u still alive man??.....thats sum deep shit.......i was readin, thinkin where is it goin and it really made me like wooooooaaaaaahhhhhhhh.........i thought that finally the muthafuka died (no hate) and then he decided to be unconscious.....sum dopeness man.....but the dude will just rot in his casket.......lol

wot u need to do tho is sumtimes b more specific with ya lines and be obvious with wot ya mean.....ya hear??
i think that sum of ya lines never meant anythin', they were there just cos they rhymed, and they were just fillers like "Another that has 3rd degree burns n’ a guy who cut his penis off in public"...ok, it sets the scene but i'd rather hear a dope line that had true meanin behind it......a guy that cut his penis off in public??? i mean, no hate, but i dont really care...ya hear......

but overall, this was a truely great read and a pretty dope story.......hook was tight and had a nice meanin

stay up playa............................................. .....peace