strengths: Nice Flow, seems as though you rhymed pretty well with everything that you said. I really liked the flow.

weaknesses: The way you structured the thing was just all wrong. It was really confusing to people like me when reading this. But when you start getting used to writing a little more you will be able to improve on the structure.

conclusion: Well as far as other things are concerned it was a very interesting read, confusing at times by the way the structure of the whole thing was be what keep me interested was the way you keep the thing rhyming the whole way through