first about this more detailed piece your talking about, hun im pretty sure ppl here will be able to handle it, without hurting themselves

this topic is one that the writter can take different ways, with different twists, ect. you just seemed content to write about sex without much other meaning. that was ok. you have to start working on your structure, making it flow better so its not so hard to read with it sounding right. your intro was alright, and your outro, well it was good, but im not sure if i completly understand what your trying to say, you give lots of hints in this piece, probly not purposly, of the poem going somewhere else and it never does. ahwell. your vocab could be taken up a notch, and try to watch your spelling, it can ruin some pieces for ppl. anywho it was a nice read all and all.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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