A drunk staggers into a church and sits down in a confessional and says nothing. The priest coughs, still nothing; then the priest knocks on the wall 3 times to get his attention. The drunk finally speaks up saying, "No use knocking mate, there's no paper in this one either."

^peter kay. nice try. but what the fuck

I went to a girls hockey match recently and the teams were named "Skirts" and "Knickers", I stood on the side shouting, "Up with the "Skirts", down with the "Knickers".

^ok that was just pathetic

Two men walk into a bar - One of the men finds a mirror on the floor, looks into it and says to his friend. "I recognise him from somewhere". His friends takes the mirror out of his hands and says, "That's me you idiot."

^that one got a giggle out of me