great poem, the thing that stood out to me was the story telling. u really told the story great and got ure poem to rhyme perfectly. the vocab was very good, sum of the best ive seen on this site, and it also didnt confuse me by having big ass words that no one can understand. the flow was strong with lines like this
So as hell grew on land exscaped from soils core
Demons we're raging hestaricaly like a wild bore
Greed turned into a desire that people craved deeply
Jeesus tried to react but the wound of life opened quickly
structure was real tight, the lines are almost all same length. im not big on structure so i dont know wat else to say bout that. the message was beatiful, it had a great story, religeon, belief, and almost a children's story aspect to it. i liked it from begining to end, outa 10 a definet 9.2
rhymes
erfect rhymes and the reader didnt have to read it a funny way to make it rhyme, which ppl seem to be doin now.
flow:great flow, never got off beat, kept goin strong till the end.
structure:tight, easy to read, good to follow.
message:great message and skill to make it.
originallity
ld story, new poem. kept it fresh.
final thoughts:none, just amazement.