Truthfully, you could use a lot of help in a few particular areas. First & foremost: word choice. The methodology I would recommend to you in your pursuit of improvement would be reading. Read the newspaper every morning before you go to school or work. Read everything, whether you are intrigued by a given article's subject or not. Patterns & groupings of words and phrases will come as second nature, and the improvement will show in your writing. It's no joke, reading and writing run hand-in-hand.

The vocabulary was blandly adequate. Could've been better, could've been worse. Nothing to point out in that field. The flow could have been better, but it was nothing to frown upon in the overall scheme of things - just try to even out your syllable counts per line; I shoot for sixteen syllables per line. I'm not a fan of the subject at hand or the trajectory that it took, but, it could've been a lot worse. If this is what you feel has the most profound impact on your life, I suppose it was worth it to write about it. Maybe I will some day, too

Continue writing, continue reading & continue improving. Peace

Quality

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