Thread: No Sleep
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Old 01-06-04, 08:07 PM   #3
Dr.Gonzo
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Not to bad...the ryme schem was simple yes

i would say extend each line, make it more complex, more details tell your story, bring us inside...

and i think you might have spelled bush wrong...but i could be wrong

and i dident really get that ending, seems like you ended on a political note that had nothing to do with the rest of the poem
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