Normally, I'd frown on a few instances of word choice, because it seems that it is epidemically-horrid in most instances. However, a British, dare I say, moniker shone lusterfully throughout this particular piece. Also, although it was a bit metaphor-heavy, your references were all classy enough & worded correctly to continue & build upon their respective ideas. You've become privy to critique: applause is in order - &, well, here is what I would change . .
Just one thing: Complexity in subjects / topics. To squander such grammatical excellence on a round-of-the-mill ('til the last two lines) piece is deplorable. I've seen this topic done over & over; despite the original spin that you put on it, you could've done better, I'm sure.
My favourite lines:
Quote:
To a halt ,sign impatiently waiting for a fountain of fluid
But the floods have run another course Biros druids drew it
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This here, was an impressive line, along w/ your closing.
All in all, this would score in the ninetieth percentile of Open Mic pieces @ Rapbattles. Keep writing, & contact me for a potential collaboration.
Peace, Quality