You got quite a lot of feedback on this, but I don't think one more will hurt.

I thought the flow was all right. It could always have been better with lines evening out and everything, but it was still pretty good. Overall I liked this peice.

But I didn't like the ending. Only because it seemed to totally come out of left feild. Part of me liked the ending because of it's uniqueness. I mean, writing a peice about a guy who's been abused all the time like he has, he'd probably end up killing himself. But you instead took another route where he ends up building a bomb.

Part of me understands it completly. But that's because I know how it goes. I think if you elaborated on the ending and made it more clear two things. What he is doing and why he's doing it, it would make this peice a lot better. And it's about the one thing that actually needs improvement, I think.

~Irenic~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.