I really liked your idea but it fell off a bit. I think you should practice your structure a little more, try writing longer lines and change up subjects and I'm sure it will be tight..Keep it up man!

>these lines I thought could have been different to make it flow better<
All of my lines are remembered
Unlike you - Your disremembered

Because my lyrics are explicit
And your's are illicit

You make my little brother sound ill
So when i get on stage and you here me fans (this part is the only one that doesn't have a word to rhyme with)
Always remember, get your own style
and act like a projectile