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Old 01-10-04, 12:33 PM   #5
GeNiuS
Registered User
 
Posts: 55
IP:

It's the bloodbath, the crimson red wrath/

line was ill i liked it...didnt really use multi's an flow was difficult to grasp at times..

Brothas on tha street call me MC Macabre/
I crush like a Tonka, niggaz call me big wheels/

make ya mind up bout what they call you..hahah

Your pitch is inconsisten, ups and down like a yoyos/
while mine are Austin Powers shagadellic, with 3 times the mojo/

1st line is played out...a lot of your similes are simple....very simple..second line is a bit corny lol,,,

When suckas try ta face me, they get fanatical/
But I keep it coo, like chess, i'm tactical/

again second line i splayed out...

seeing as your new to rap...you need to vary your content an if something is simple chances are it has to be said before...but saying that every1 must be simple first in order to improve an spit more complex...try an add more than 1 word that rhymes per line an make each line have equal syllables..to help the flow...decent piece...you got potential...

please post some feedback on my piece..link at bottom of this post...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=105566
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