..okay drop..wayyy..better than your last one..needs a title..vocab could be better..you rhymed words that was obvious..meaning..we all know that pass and past rhymes..and so forth..some lines was good..some lines was just gibber jabber..blah blah..lines needs to be even..you cant have one short line..then the next line be about 10 more words than the last one..so you have to work on structre..and needs a topic..really..I didnt know what the hell you was talkin about..first you went from followin systmes and rebeling to life is a book covered in dust..might I also add that was your best line..all I can say is keep elevation..try to expand yo vocab and rap about a specific subject..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...978#post1074978
also..peep my open mic..Death of Man..