well... like some one stated earlier both were weak..
but we all have to start some where...
MM...you need to work on your structure..
make it look more like this...

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make your lines even and ...make sure thelast word in each line rhymes..
makes it easier to read that way...
work on punches and vocab...and try to throw in some personals..they always help your verse...

Bones..the only reason you win is because your was easier to read..and you had
better flow and structure..
punches didnt do it for me at all..but its cool...the more you battle the better you will get...
work on harder punches...and personals...

no hate here fellas..both can do better..
just keep battlin..and read vet battles alot too... they help with creativity and style..

vote=bonespitter

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