Probably the first poetry-orientated one. But i'm sure you've done open mic, which are also poetry (as if i needed to even say that that..)..

The first four lines were blistering. Maybe cos i understand it so well...but it also was very well put.

From there it went on to, in a way, disect and depict in a solid enough manner. At times a bit stale...which maybe shows inexperience in writing this kind of poetry. Because as i said, the first four lines were very good. And many other parts held up very well. Of course, when i say stale...i mean in comparison to the other lines.

The ending was kind of abrupt. But left an unusual feel to the piece...(well, kind of)..

...resp....