Look son ya need to take your time think up some more original and ahrder hitting punches, cause some of your lines were BASIC and not very original.
But this happens when you start on RB cause there rarely a line that hasn't been used yet.
As the other cats said don't explain punches at the end of yaline.
If you think they are that complicated put *'s at the end of the lines that you think need explaining. Each time a line needs explaining put anopther star on it eg.

Rip ya limb from limb till ya brain sting
Asked for battle, water pistols is what you bring*
Pathetic that he can't see my point
Till i put it in his eye when i ash my joint**
Blah,Blah,Blah,Bla
Blah, Blah,Blah,Blah***

* Explain punch
** Explain punch
***Explain punch

Though it is better to not do it at all. This method should only be used if you think the punch is complicated.
So work on your structure, makes your punches short and hard hitting, come up with some personals (check feeb;e minded tutorial ), you can come up with these by checking on past posts by this person.More original punches, will come as you elevate.
Work on flow by shortening your bars aswell.

As ILL said read some vets batles you will get the idea...
Hoped this help you PM me if you got any questions, or hit me up on AIM...
Bkast00

pce