Personally, I draw little distinction between rap and poetry. The difference is as negligable as between a horse, donkey, and mule.

I was reading this as school, but wasn't able to reply 'till I got home. And I realized something. I realized when I said your name out loud, it is the same as saying "liberty". Liba Dee, Liberty. I just realized that, that is so fucking cool. (Wondering if that was done on purpose.)

Anyway this peice... there was good to it, and bad to it.

The good part was what you were writting. Personifications of feelings is just... well it's different, and you made it work quite well. One could certainly feel what you were saying.

The part I found bad was the actual structure. I dunno, but it just felt like the lines were stretched out too far. I mean, this doesn't mean that you need to start writing two worded sentences from now on, it's just here I had trouble going from one line to the next. Next time you write a peice with extended lines, who knows? It might actually work perfectly. But in this case specificfully, it doesn't work.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.