that bragging stuff is not really poetic, don't do it. anyway, ur imagry was good, stories were good (althugh u choped em up with that bragging garbage) but u still got work in other areas. i suggest u really think about things like metaphores and similies and keep in mind im not talking about the ones u use in raps. over all, this is kinda like a rap more than a poem cuz all the punchlines u tried to use, which is not really poetry. u gotta try to use really deep thought, make people think while reading ur stuff (the metaphores will help u with that), flow was kinda off too. keep working at it though, u will get better.

drop some feed on my piece please?
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107544