As long you both had fun and tried your best, you're both winners! Oh yea, Souldja gets my vote.

skorpius- I honestly didn't see two words that rhymed together in your first verse. (Maybe Ottawa and Uhhh.) I suggest coming up with a simple rhyme scheme next time. Keep working and you'll improve.

True-Souldja- you took it cause you had a stronger opening, although it kinda died off near the end. I give you props for trying to come up with some interesting ideas (like the foldgiers coffee) Keep practicing is all the advice I can give you, we all could use more.

__________________
"I’m a mercenary, I don't care how I get richer,
Like American companies that did business with Hitler"
-Immortal Technique