Alright illman, hows it in Philly?
Things round there getting a little chilly?
opening starts alright, but i expected more in the form of a punch
Your like the eagles, your silly, took a huge beating
And like them all you can do is watch your hopes fleeting
um... Not that strong of a punch, not that strong of a metaphor
Cuz in this meeting ill merk ya ill work ya
Like I was berserk and you jerk yaself
kind of a filler, not really a punch, meta is off.. not really direct
Because you cant get a bitch, but guess what theres a glitch
But i guess its ok, Too busy "running your label"?
falling short on hard hitting punches
Im sorry to tell ya but i guess you aint able
And as it turns out, boy, your a lyrical fable
not really a hard hitting punch.. lacking a dope metaphor
I put the nail in your coffin as im shutting the lid
Be glad that i did,forbid, I merked this kid
not that good of a closer, lacked on a punch and a metaphor

overall your verse was kind of newbie, you had some attemped punchs, but nothing hard came across, you lacked on metaphors, could have used some multis in your flow, other than that your flow was alright


what you a capition "dickhead",/ you rapping " dickhead"
you really think you hot, you burning "dickhead"
i cooked you, i don't even know where you from,/
opening could be better, lacked on a hard punch... metaphor seemed a little off
i heard you claim you raw, now i know that you done,/
you a rookie, you first mistake was spiting flows that nobody else would spit, but chicks and wineno's,/
flows started falling off here... you have a little bit of direction there, still lacking on the whole metaphor side of the battle
how bout them eag's, we one from the chip,/ im winning it for'em,"rap league" killing you pricks,
why you even call me out, you waste my time,
you trash, you making me mad im wasting my mind,/
ok line, needs some rewording, work out the flow.. cept try and keep away from feeding off your opponents verse
on this cat that write all his ryhmes from balled up paper,/
you weak you must be drunk you taking a sit,/
kind of a weak punch... although it has potentual, i see what you were aiming for
next to pirates wit red hats, wooden boats on beach," you sweet"
ok attempt at a personal.. could have made the line slightly more clear though

overall you need to work on your punchs some.. then try coming across on your metaphor work out a better rhyme scheme and it should be dope..

vote-illman
he came across better with his punchs, a little less directed but harder hitting, came with a few more.

Return the favor and drop an honest vote
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107532

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