Dear Journal,
I think found my diamond in the rough, my gem, my pearl
The thing I sought so long and hard for i think found that special girl
I can't believe it ,it seems a eternity I've wished for this dream
This is woman is a fantasy to me, I'll never wake it up it seems
My whole life was dim to me before now, I don't know how
How I lived before i met her......i can't explain it...........wow
The tragedy that overhshadowed me it seems so far away
The shade on my life has been raised, I've reached a brand new day
A new outlook i have been givin, a new perspective of the earth
The day i looked into your eyes, and we kissed it was my rebirth
I don't know how i lived without you, but that old life...it seems so far
But all that matters now is that I'm with you, things can't get better than they are
If somebody asked how much I loved you, it would be to much to tell
Your beauty is enchanting, and your love has me under a spell
Sincerely,
Penskills

........................6 months later..................



Dear Journal,
It's been 6 months ,its kinda weird but me and her are fine I guess
But things been different between us, I think its just lovers stress
Don't get me wrong I've been blessed, to have such a special companion
But lately our bonds been put to the test, everything is so demandin
Our understandin.........will overcome our disagreements
I gotta believe it, without her there's no use in breathin
If she was leavin...........i couldn't take it, it'll break my heart in two
My life would be demolished, there'd be no need to start anew
Please let this work out i need you, can't you see that I can't lose you
I'll never let nothin come between us, I'll always choose you
Why do you put me through this, your actin clueless like it don't hurt me
But baby don't desert me, I'll take the pain to make this work please
If i have to get down on my knees to make it work ......... then i'll do it
Your love to me is a disease......I never wanna get immune to it
wait.........why am i trippin man, it's cool she would never creep
I need to stop letting this shit get to me I need to get some sleep
Signed,
Pen

................6 months later

Dear Journa------
----- AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK THIS, How Can she do this? She said loved me!
I Shed tears for this girl, she said she said she'll put noone above me
A year of my life.................a year................ I sacraficed for you
I put everything else on hold, I told you I'd take a knife for you
And this is how you treat me???!!!!!! This is what you do???????????
Bitch you left me screwed........I'm left with nothing,WHO DO I HAVE??? WHO????
I have nothing, no fucking FRIENDS not even one aquatiance
They thought eventually I'd come back, but they all ran out of patience
I said it'll be okay, I figured that you were all i needed
I even ran my parents out my life, even though they wanted back in, they pleaded
I gave the finger to the world, It was them 'ginst me and you
But now everything is different, it's me you give the finger to
I have nobody left nothing, just the memories of us
I have no reason for my being, you broke my one and only trust
This wasn't lust it was love girl ,I knew that from the start
Now my heart is gonna burst from all the pain it's tearing it apart
OH my God is seems no matter what i try to do I fail
I don't even want to live another day
Lord please help me,
Pen




Next day....................Washington Post

Fairfax,VA----- Tuesday morning at 10 am. Found behind a nearby pizza hut
Was a young man in a dumpster, both of his wrists were cut
The paramedics were called but he was prenounced dead on the scene
The cause was determined suicide, the young man was just a teen
Friends and family had noticed him withdrawing from all activites
His parents sent him to couseling, but there was just no remedy
His life was slowly sliding into a downward spial
His the friends he had left try to warn him but he just responded with denial
Memorial services will be held Thursday at Thomas Jefferson High school
A wake will be held Friday night, followed in the morning by a funeral
The whole community is in awe on how this young mans life was stopped
They say this young man had a future nobody knew it could have flopped
This man wanted to be a Lawyer, he planned to Graduate from Yale
The teen who died name was Jay, but his friends called him Penskill