hmmmmm....did every verse trail off on purpose?
it seemed like the flow was cool at the beginning of each verse, but it slowly trailed off into 3 word lines...which doesn't sound really good.
I find it helps to write it as if you're going to rap it, that way you develope a flow to it. A good way to find flow is to try to have around the same amount of syllables in every line.
sometimes subdividing pieces with titles loses the flow. unless each subdivided area is a section of it's own.
at the beginning of the growing pains section, you rhyme demanding and thinking, which don't rhyme. With words the end in common suffixes (ie. -ing, -ed etc) you need to rhyme the syllable that comes before the suffix in order for the word to rhyme properly (ie. comanding & demanding, thinking & winking).
your take on the topic was pretty good, I don't think I would have been able to think of something like this for it. I actually would not have been able to write to this topic =/
nice piece man, room for elevation, but theres always room for that
peace

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis