damn dis bitch be battlin wit his panties in a bunch, i be like what da fuck, he be like yo hurry up, well shit im here now so get ready fo a punch, dont even think ta duck
not much of an opener.It seemed pretty basic. You had an alright personal i suppose with tha hurry up but it wasnt really a punch and for sure wasnt hard... Nothin here is to directed
swing so hard i throw my body but i wont miss fuckers heads as big as bevoladies
i seen u in your other battles if das what u wanna call it, looks more like ta me jus hissy fits, what too busy baby ta make up any good rymes , suckin on your mom’s tit.
eh.. set isnt that good of a punch, a nice try i suppose. I see the follow throughs meta, but it isnt much either. to simple of an idea with out a really good connection.
Maybe it aint that im comin to a new conclusive muss be side affect from my drugged up rymed hallucinogens fuck wit my spins u really ganna spin but harder than Real ganna do or just did, either way wats nows now and whats thens then.
im noticing that your verse is lacking a good structure here. putting in lines or bars would help tremendously. This part was filler, an ok flow on it but nothing specil
I saw what u and wise ways like ta do wit cute lil cristians rape ‘em inta sin. But only wise ways is just watchin, not ta goin in but in the back masterbatin wit a grin
weak attemp of a personal, miss directed. i am not feeling this bar at all.
Beattin me he aint got the mustard, u don’t get votes like howard dean rappin all red faced and flustard… fuck dis pussy as bitch sit back as me and snoop dance some crip
weak ending. the mustard part just seemed like a bad recycle heinz line that eminem had in 8 mile. Didnt really come off hard or as a meta to me. The rest was filler
Over all your verse needs better structure, and your need to work on directing your punchs. Make them harder, THEN try adding in some metaphors to you flow. After that maybe work on your flow itself, try some harder multis/ rhyme schemes
Will not imagine A picture perfect taking any "Frames" off this Evil hunter
Even if you A perfect picture yer structure Decays Ya not A Stunner
not feeling this opening., sort of weak word play, could have used some rewording. follow through isnt much
Had 2 call herself part "Two" cuz the first was Servierly boned & rejected
And still you Cloned But the "Draw" was horrible,sincierly owned & demented
eh the punch here isnt the hardest. ok shot at a personal[/b]
She claims Americas Most Wanted like pac,got the profile caught by cops
Only pimpin done n this "Coast" will b big bubba making raped noises like pops
weak attemp at a personal. I am Not feeling this line at all
Cuz yer only suitable for licking my nuts & easily turned A slave...My bitch
Easily Persuitable lags Vigoressly behind..slamed her in "Pave" just an Itch
punchs isnt much. alright wording, could have used a little diffrent. follow through is over drawn
This fool hessatated 2 check n cuz she couldent "Paint" me...lacked the brush
So now I take ya Portriat & simply draw "L" cuz you cant Graph,lack the touch
ending could have used work. the meta in here is alright, again ok personal shot could have been more directed though
Over all your verse could have used a littl emoredirection to help out your personals, as far as personal go though you were taking alot of shot which was good. your flow was alright here and i decided to use the first verse you posted up since it was your first on.
Vote- It
He hit with more personal shots, had punchs with a little more direction. sort of a generic verse but the punchs helped that. Metaphors were there alot more.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107532