This was very deep, the wording really stepped this up a level, the vocab was suited for this piece but could of done with upping to take it that next stage higher so there was multis to help the flow, but i know your mcing skills are really damn good, so i think this would make avery nice short audio, the emotion really gave the reader a sense of participating in the event, well done!! try and give me more next time, its nice to read, and keep writing.