poseidon:
this was actually much better than I had anticipated, since I had never seen a piece from you before this. Each verse seemed to trail off. I like how you took the topic and worked with a cliche saying to make it a verse. I think you could have elaborated more on what actually caused the break up, rather than just growing pains.

filed-
whoa. I really enjoyed how poetic this was. As a poem it was fantastic, but as an open mic, it lacked many of technical aspects that are necessary. You ought to try adding in internal rhyming and multies. I really cought your flow though, it was quite dope. some of your words that were supposed to rhyme neglected to. The emotion was clear, and that was what made this really dope.

v/filed

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis