WOW was that an essay or a rap..?

Structure it..ie..

xxxxx xxxxxxx xx xxxxx xxxxxx...
xxxx xxxxxxxxxx xx xxxxxxx...

form what i seen you have some decent rhyming capabilities...improve on it and up your vocab a little..learn from some vets and people who are good at Open mics..(Cam,Born To Kill, Edicus,Fgee,Penskills,West to name a few)...you'll elevate soon enough .