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Old 01-27-04, 12:48 PM   #3
Dev
1E
 
Posts: 1,512
From: N.E.England
IP:

seen the concept before... but thought you came at it pretty good, at times the flow struggled with a couple of stretched lines, but the way you told the story was good, and ya carried the rhyming decent, in places it could have been carried further, insead of starting a new flow on the next line, keep it going.... yeah decent drop, kept me reading, i see potential....
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