alright...

Skiddz; decent verse seemed like you really wanted to make this enchanting with your imagery and use of analogies....My personal opinion is that you put effort in it, but not as much came out of it...seemed like you tried really hard to compete with Aus...
Your ending really threw me off with the over all structure and rhyme scheme....

Yes.. How He bungles My Mind, I'm Still Shitless
Sepents decieve, I have to follow My Instinct
I was the Hell in Heaven's Presence In the Above
The Apocalypse was Over...
The Devil Committed Suicide, walking into Gods Love

The use of slang and cursing in this ending was of poor judgement...I would have personally never used it....I feel it takes from the feeling of the piece///

Aus.....Nice piece....kept with good structure....couple times i had to reread a sentence or so but overall and easy read...I enjoyed your intro and your outro felt you really grasp'd what you were intending on writing for this topic...nice work man

Vote= Aus

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)