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Old 01-28-04, 02:45 AM   #2
oddly ill
Flyweight
 
Posts: 165
From: city of fuckville
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pjuxz
You Can Spit Rough/rugged/hArd Like My Dick/but If It Aint Real Your Spittin Some Bullshit You Faggots/fake Thug Niggas Tryna Rep/well I'm From Marcy/where Cats Get Strectched/ Coke Connects/on The Roof With Broke Necks/youre A Broke Tech Nigga In A Shoot Out With No Vest..

look the advise that's gonna be givin to ya from me is straight up so don't take the shit personaly, for starters you need to learn how to break ya bars i couldn't tell what the flow was suppose to e like, next is the topic which wasn't there none what so ever i understand that it was like a freestyle so you don't really need a topic but at least have something similar,and the next thing to jump on is the length of the rhyme which was bare minimum put more effort into the shit, you also might want to spice the shit up with some punchlines multies and even some metaphores if you don't know how to do that kind of shit ask somebody they'll tell ya aight, just uppin shit you'lll get better
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shut the fuck up

even if i stutter i'll still sh-sh-shit on you/ pun

dead in middle of little of little italy
little did we know that we riddle
some middle man who didn't do ditally/ pun
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