nice concept and not a bad hook, i see a lot of people who can't write decent hooks

everything is decent, but shorten ur lines up..if u were to go audio the delivery on this would be horrible unless u rap about as fast as twista or have a slow ass beat

but since it's not audio, i give it 7.9/10

i'm harsh and i only give 9-10 to the perfect or close to it... so don't take a 7.9 as an insult