wow, talk about elevation. this is a big improvement from ure other poems. the feeling was very real, the message was so real, i felt it well. the vocab was alright, it was pretty simple but this made up with it by emotion. the structure was unique in that the bars werent perfectly even but it still flowed good outloud, i like that alot. the only weak points i could find were technical wise, but fuck technicality, and stay with originality. good stuff, very real and very well done. I love how much u elevated, keep doin ure thing!

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