..Soft Focus..
|
IP:
Great emotion in this...you gripped the reader easily on this...the concept was very good...you had some very interesting imagery and detail..your structure flow and all that non sence was good...your vocab was very good i thought...for the descriptions you used you had some very creative lines...and for that..you picked the right words i thought for instance this line...
Religion crawled out my mind, As satan has moved in with suicidle
Im an idol of my own, where I catch static and havoc... but yet peaceful-HC
My patients is elastic at times, but when stretched to far its leathel
Im addict of pain, its attracted and I always seem to keep it active
World seeming to be passive, but in reality im leaving myself captive-HC
Very goods lines i felt you detailed the description on emotion very well there
Keep up the good work man...peace
|