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Old 01-30-04, 07:02 PM   #7
.Iknoevel.
Banned: Compromised Account
 
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Posts: 2
From: New Jersey
IP:

SM

niggas shout at me so I got to shout at them/niggas swing I swing and wait for the outcome/studio gangsta's love to talk trash/like real big niggas can't get up in that ass/yo bring the yo whole unit,not afraid of none of them/watz the deally yo reall ill get at any of them/nigga im as bad as it gets, nigga my lil brotha more man then u i know why cause u a bitch/nigga u bet not try to suck up when i kill ya im goin to chop ya up/nigga u cant handle me and u my first, when thirsty im just goin to kill ya cause yo blood will forfill my thirst/nigga u try to act like u dont know me, but bitch i killed and murdered yo whole family,except yo motha and the whole reason she aint dead is cause she begged me to fuck ha/nigga u know about the king, u know bout me.

basic verse..not many hard punches or punches that really hit at all...like everyone else said your stil in ya newbie stage and thats ok...you will learn what is played and not played and will improve on ya punches.. the punches you had here were like i said before weak and played, they didnt hit well and the set up was basic along with the rhyme scheme and wording...your structure is bad and next time write out ya verse like Dev did


Dev

Ive seen newbies n herbs… but yours is a league of few
Try the two combined… NOW ya half way to you!
N that brings me to the next question… what ya bring?
All I’m seeing is a ‘fag’… hanging on the vets ‘ring’!
So fuck off, go ‘rim’ ya hommies… let them taste ya
Cos RB don’t need ya… we on PC, you play like Amiga!
You haven’t got a structure or any set flow
last time you dropped hard was when your mother let go
So go ‘mumble’ somewhere else… stop wasting my time
Sick of wastin space… adding defeat to a noobs rhymes

not a bad verse here..you came much better then SM in everything.. you took this battle wit ya punches and wordplay...SM didnt have any of that... your flow was straight threw out the whole thing and ya struct was great...keep battling

my vote - Dev for a much better verse..he took this in every cata.
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