Breakdown of mainly NlitEnd. .

This to me was hard to decide. Being as i can read filler, and I'll get bored after a while, but i hate reading played lines... thats just annoying. NLitEnd, I dunno if you were paying attention to the "battling world" while you were retired from battling, but some of the concepts you used in your punches i have seen before. I will break down this point further:

This Battle Is Pointless, Like Me Droppin Hate On You
So Let Me Jump Off My Pedestal, And Land Str8 On You!

& For Fun, Here’s A Little Game With Words:
5 Consonants & 2 Vowels…
…Fuck Off!…
…Coz Not Only We Different Levels, We Different Worlds!


I've seriously heard the "I'm above you" concept used 10 + times. After reading it for the second time, it just gets old.. at this point, I really think people should get original... Iunno if you just didnt see that cuz u dont read battles anymore or what. either way it was played & uninteresting. I suggest to start reading battles, read the ones in Elite, and go to other sites or whatever... and get caught up...on whats played and isnt if ur already not. Played material can really hurt a verse...

I could quote some lines i thought were just blah but I won't. You need to make sure all your lines are punches. And make sure they at least seem witty to you. You cant guarantee they will to everyone else, but at least to you, you must know that it relates to something else, or is in some way a punch or includes wordplay. Oh, you need to improve your wordplay too. See my battle or Lethargic's battle if you want to see what i mean by wordplay. use these tips next week or i'll assume you dont like my advice and in the future i'll be like the other gay voters and say "XXX took this cuz of better punches. vote - XXX." word..

Breakdown of Fue - Xion. . .


Breakdown for Fue- Xion
the opener was pretty nice. congrads on that.
but, why focus on good points ? Praise doesnt build good battling it builds self esteem.

Judging Your AV Pic I Should Kick Your Ass With My Shoe.....
.....And Question Your Computer With A-BOOT!!
a feeble attempt at wordplay. or whatever you want to call it. Yes i understand you used the setup and integrated it into the punchline... but it was still a bad line. Why? Iunno why for sure, impossible to explain.. basically because it was a very simple line, id expect to see it in front lines for real yo.

^^^^^^^^Must Be The Age Limit Allowed In Your Room!
I Went To Search, Typed In Wack.....Page Loaded...
.....Then I Noticed It Was YOU!!

^ the suspence... get rid of it. for a line where the punch was more like filler, all those dots building suspense let me down...made the line worse, not better. if you had a dope punch after it the dots could make it better, otherwise no. Hard to explain why i didnt like the "punch". prolly cuz it really wasnt one. I hope you know what a punch is. if not im not explaining, you should know. all your bars should contain a punch or wordplay.


good lines:

the periodically one, i figured it was another wack line until lethargic quoted it as nice, then i actually read his sig.. and it had dots. that was ctually a pretty good one. my bad i shoulda read it, lo l .

the tetanus line was the battles best .


vote - Fue - Xion.

thats how you vote whiteys.