okay strucutre
lines didnt follow a storyline, jumped subject to subject
....this muthafucka thinkin hes a P.I.M.P./
probably a dick but see me im friendly/
battlin me, only because im new/
and if you win, you know i'll find you/
u probly at home, doin drugs and meth/

umm head does not rhyme with death
use better wordplay

construcutive enuff

and village pimp

your bars, although long, which is not a good thing, hit alot harder
your personals, there was plenty more, and they all made sense, and were used well

all in all, village pimp wins

v/ village