holy shit..it's been a loooong time since I've seen something that I'd say is almost flawless....u got the basics down perfectly...and the story u told in this makes perfect sense..the ending gave it a real dark feeling too....this is possibly the best Open Mic I've ever read on this site...keep it up dude, u do audio? cuz u got good flow..

peace

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<center> I.J.L</center>