This wasnt a bad piece content wise .. the vocab was straight and it was told pretty well but you really need to get down multi's and internals to spark your pieces up a little. As a reader, i found myself losing interest after the opening four or so lines due to the basic one-syllable rhyming man, you need to work on that a little .. it'll bring a lot more to your pieces once you get those down. The transition was straight, you carried the piece well i thought - short, but to the point.

Felt.