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Old 02-03-04, 02:47 AM   #12
.iLL.
Flyweight
 
Posts: 135
From: spokane
IP:

My alias be godfather cause i put hits out on whack rappers.
My lyrics choppin ya down and burn ya. ya scared losin ya bladder.
Not bad flow here, and a decent opener
They call ya saltshaka. I guess you ridin dicks for ying yang.
I tried to be nice but your last post caused me to bring tha pain.
Hmm...wasnt really feeling this
I guess you embarrassed by where you from so hide it.
You should look at the other niggas who dead from my lyrics and tried it.
Nice, only change i mighta made was a different twist for an ending rhyimg word instead of 'it' .. sometimes it works, but its just a suggestion
But I give ya credit ya got heart for fuckin wit that best of tha south.
I would wait for you to reply but yo probably got a twin dick in ya mouth.
Ok, kinda a played out punch with the 'dick in the mouth' .. otherwise ok
You mind like an empty salt shake you got nothin inside.
You hungry. I done killed it. so nigga swallow ya pride.
Solid ending to an edgy rhyme


Michael you only wish u wuz a myers for a chance to return//
Only it doesn't have to be Halloween for me to make ya burn//
Didnt really care for this opener
U wanna cumback? Bitch lick ya lips//
You cant spitta punch might as well start throwin kicks//
Great first line, but you lost a potentially great punch with the second
It doesn't matta how many timez ya take ya wordz to a playground tryin ta get in tha game//
Ya lyrics will neva be on top of mine, if ya wuz usin a crane//
Stretched a lil, but not bad
Homie sayz he be a beast, hell even tha king of tha jungle//
Hiz record gonna be worst then tha Lions, so letz get rdy to rumble!//
Probably you're worst line
Ding Ding!
I'm taken this Kombat Mortally and i'm ready to finish him//
Dog, you couldn't beat me, I could reap tha grym//
Closer needs a little work, but wasnt bad


Overall - I felt that Michael took this..Saltshaka, you need some work, but keep practicing, you are going in the right direction. Peace.
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