--[Flow]---
Flow [as Pen said] was alittle forced in some places..you seemed more concious on rhyming rather than gettin' what you needed to say out..try to balence the two. Structure was nice though, bars were the same length..nice.

--[Vocab]--
Vocab was pretty well constructed, the third verse i felt took it....it wasn't oversued however seem to be a little underused in some places, but overall it seemed to be spaced out well.

"So in turn, I subconsciously bring instant closure
Safety off…brittle hands cock back the salvation"

--[Concept]--
Liked what you were saying (nice title), you had alot of relative lines in there...felt the topic lacked some originality but it was good, 1st verse i thought had alot more relevance than the other too...

--[Overall]--
To be honest I wasn't expecting something as good as what i read...3/5...think you just need to adjust your flow and it'd be dope...you got alot of potential..Use it wisely.