Okay .. firstly, that isnt a multi rhym,ing words ending with the same last syllable repeatedly, thats the only thing that distracted me in this .. flow was decent .. told it straight .. a little short i felt .. ended abruptly .. id of liked to see it developed further but ehhh .. it wasnt bad for its length, could of took the subject a little better - i hate the 'hidden message' type pieces .. picked up in the middle .. probably was my favourite section actually .. the beginning didnt really 'draw me in' as id of liked, the body of the verse seemed to do that more. Imagery was coo' .. told it well .. transitions were ok .. pretty fluent .. held my attention, but that could of been due to the length, lol.

Straight piece.

Return favours, piss flap -

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111551