View Single Post
Old 02-04-04, 01:33 AM   #4
wogzta
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

DemonHunter -

"Dis is my first shot , ya wanna see wat i got
Well Hell Im the Devil and I revel and bask
In glory - cause every1 asks , who was dat , that u bate in the past"

Not a strong start... just simple self-glorification, and bate is not a word... 2/10

"you know the one that couldnt last , cause he had no flow
and he had no where to go , cause soon enogh ya gonna feel dat , ya know"

Very weak... didnt really mean anything and "ya know" was just a helper phrase cos you couldnt think of anything to rhyme... 2/10

"cause ya gonna be stuck , up in a truk ,fukin a duk cause ya lost ya luk"

What have u been smoking? 0/10

"and you got no groove , you got nothin to proove
ya gonna lose , soon enough - youll get on da booze"

A bit better... at least you made a bar that makes sense... still, nothing special... 4/10

"cause ur gonna be depressed , ive made your feelings repressed
and now ur backed up against da wall , only feelin 4 feet tall"

This was a decent punch... you guys know each other in real life, and the attack on his height was decent.. couldve been done better though... 5/10

"but youd like to debate , but youd rather masterbate
cause you know at this rate , ur gonna run out the gate
feelin hate - towards me , its plain to see
u aint ever gonna be a real rapper
ur just gonna be , another motherfukin wanna B!"

doesnt flow well... and please... your a text battler... its not like you'll be a real rapper either.... 3/10

Overall = 16/60..... very weak verse DemonHunter... you need to start using more advanced vocabulary and have harder hitting punches... simple threats dont mean anything in rapbattles... keep elevating.. and fix up your grammar and structure, this was hard to read

Knightmare:

"My words are to your confidence like needle's to a bubble
Like earthquakes to buildings, they leave you in rubble"

Nice comparisin with earthquakes... decent multie rhyme... 6/10

"In life you only reap what you sew, so I guess you earned this
Your words are like Monopoly money, they're just plain worthless"

nice monopoly comment... nice flow.... 6/10

"I'll unearth these truths and haunt your dreams like nightmares
Your shit was just like nursery rhymes written for child care"

I liekd this... in future, spell nightmare "Knightmare"... because it glorifies your name... nice multi rhyme.... 7/10

"I can see kids singin along to it like Barney the purple Dinasaur
I grow and cause pain, cease your speech like a sinus sore"

This was ok... not really a punch... but multie was good... 6/10

"You keep gettin shown up, beat up, u still dont see my lore?
Fury fuming from your defeat, man why did u fight this war?"

Wasnt really that good... no real meaning... 3/10

"You're going cold, like when God put a stop to Earth's core
I am the ram*, you are the door, I am Knightmare, hear me roar"

A pretty weak ending... but the battering ram comment was ok... 5/10

Overall = 33/60

You should try and use more advanced vocab, and make your punches more direct... try using personal attacks on his name, profile, etc... otherwise this was ok... slightly above average

SUMMARY:

Both need to elevate lyrically, although Knightmare had some nice multie rhymes. Punches were generally weak, except once or twice... need personal punches... peace and good luck

VOTE = Knightmare
  Reply With Quote