Nice intro:
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"If it suckz I dun give a fuck...  "
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Right off top I knew it was a deep song  
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"You describe it well, could've extending more 'explicit details'
more 'internal words' that make the flow of it sound smoother"
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But yeah I agree your strture was GOOD!
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You did take on the topic START to END you stayed with it
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"And I also agree more vocab and wordplay ..."
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Overall I liked it becuz of the heart and emotion that went into it"
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You got props from me
JamesJr.
(Think of throwing rhymes in there?)
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Do the favor and give me some honest criticism
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