this was cool in the sense that the entire thing was one big metaphor, which is really cool. The imagery was great, the writer's voice was alright, and the storytelling was wicked. I didn't like some of you word choice for the rhyming, but I would still bust a nut in this piece's eyes, cause it was that dope. The only thing I think you need to work on...is adding a point to your writing...making something stand out that even an idiot can see. Because once you can illustrate something so simple with the fuckalicious skills you possess, I will give you oral pleasure.

Peace in the middle east!

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis