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Old 02-04-04, 08:55 PM   #5
JamesJr.
Flyweight
 
Posts: 94
From: Youngstown Ohio
Lightbulb

IP:

I can tell this song had emotion

I liked this:

Quote:
into darkness I stare
there's a happy place, tho i'm sure where
i don't think anyone reely cares
watching my life go by
as i write this, i cry


That was DOPE.....
This ain't no battle so I won't say
(Structure, lengthen etc)
It really don't apply here
If you got emotions built up just DROP EM

Tho I do think it would go together better if you added
a little more details to each line
It might KNOCK it out the park

Other than That I liked it


JamesJr.
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