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IP:
Never said that it sucked man...
Read what ive wrote... This is suited to garage because of the rhyme scheme... That is not saying that it sucked... Garage is good... A should know... Lol...
My advice for you is...
Try a different rhyme scheme... Rhyme every 2 lines to start with... But not how you did in this piece... Reminds me of Garage so much... Lol...
It had some nice concepts... But the rhyme scheme lets this one down...
It seems to me... Maybe... Tha you used an online dictionary for this piece?
Most of the words in that verse... They are not very common in conversation... Or in anything really...
So did you use a dictionary or something?
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