Flow - seemed like it kept switching. You would hit a certain rhythm for a few lines then it would switch. Example:
Blamed by her mother and Sister for killing their neice and Grandchild/
"I'll be right back i gotta take a shower" she told her mother out a mouth manipulated to a crooked Smile/

The second line just doesn't seem to flow.

Vocab - Well done

Concept - Story was well told.

Overall - 7/10