Full BreakDown

Rapid Fires Verse

you an herb, rappin with no wisdom or fame...
could this fag have a more unoriginal name???...
(Nice personal off the bat to heat things up , but basic rythming ) 7.5/10

you know u gonna lose, I see the concern in ya face...
stole ya fuckin name..make tupac turn in his grave!...
( Decent flow , basic rythmes , not a great followup to opener ) 6/10

I chew u like tobacco, n I 'spit' like a redneck...
u gettin fucked so hard...suprised ya not pregnant...
( I heard many variations of the 2nd line , overplayed , however never heard the first
Kinda of funny 7/10 )
my profound verbal sounds will pound ya ear...
you so gay, u got stretchmarks around ya rear!
( simple but effective , I laughed out loud reading it 7.5/10)

I'ma pierce ya torso, right through ya back and chest...
fuckin biter..I'ma expose you like Janet Jacksons breast!
( In another week the JJ line is gonna so overplayed , buts still semi-fresh I guess
Nothing special but an alright closer 7/10 )
Total 35/50 ............70%

Machavelli's verse


I can go by his name cause that's all that i'm worth/
i know your screamin PLEASE!! cause i that it hurt/
(Weak opener , no props at all on this 4/10)

you little busters talk lotta shit but can't seem through with it/
i have your fate in my hands what am i gon' do with it//
( It/It , yo man , theres like a million rythmes for it , try to find one, lack of flow too
5/10)
alot of you people now think you can make your rhymes rock/
bot endin' up messin' up your words then they just stop/
( A little better than the 1st 2 but still needs heavy elevation try some more advanced rythming , your stuff is real basic 6/10)

you ain't gonna expose me any way shape or form/
i got you trapped in the endless mother fuckin storm!!//
( Maybe it wasnt on purpose , but your feeding off his verse a little using expose , but no biggie IMO 5.5/10 )

and i can't stop i refuse to lose/
before you start to win you gonna lose all your screws/
(LOL , aiight , this is a good example of remedial rapping , but everyone has to start on the ground floor , unless of course your a born natural and those guys have contracts 5/10 )

and i'm showin you all the facts/
and make sure you come out intact!!//
( No hate bro , you just need to elevate , take a little time , think of some good rythmes and try to flow it together , and try to write longer lines 5/10)

30.5/60 .........................50.8%

Aiight , the breakdown is complete

Rapid Fire Wins
RF - your lucky that MAch didnt come to hard , cause you did enough to win , but nothing really stuck out from your verse )

Mach - Yo Man , don't give up .... just try and put your shit together a little tighter , and don't give up .....

Peace Out
CrazyE

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112213